FATHERHOOD AND FATHERS
This critique is directed particularly at the father’s role
and his responsibility in his home. Many fine books have already been
written on this subject; but I believe that what I am saying here adds
something fresh to what has already been said. Many Godly mothers have
stood in the breech for their families where the husband was an unbeliever.
Timothy’s mother and grandmother were instrumental in his faith,
and John and Charles Wesley’s remarkable Mother did likewise.
Their children are indebted to them, but it was not God’s intention
that they should carry the burden alone because the absent father had
forsaken his role.
When we take stock of the homes in our societies today we can see
the sorry state that many are in. Statistics for Christian homes fare
little better than the homes of so called unbelievers. This state of
affairs is inexcusable. The responsibility for this condition rests
squarely on the shoulders of fathers.
Countless young children live in extremely dangerous homes in neighbourhoods
all around us. Yes, that’s right, their homes are a war zone,
and they are always the victims. The suffering and abuse that many
endure is horrendous.
After living the first years of their lives in
homes such as these, their brains and emotions have been wired for
every kind of violent, anti-social and moral malfunction imaginable.
Then we must ask ourselves, that if the statistics for broken marriages
is the same among Christians, what percentage of all the other stats
apply? The answer is they are far higher than we are prepared to admit.
A physician told me that 25% of those that come for consultation
are suffering from life threatening ailments. He went on to say that
numbers of Christian patients were coming to his practice wanting
prescription drugs for what was essentially a spiritual disorder. You
can mask spiritual
problems, but you can’t cure them with chemicals. We may be living
longer, but what is the quality of these lives?
Those of us who have put on Christ will immediately say ‘the
reason is plain’ they do not know the Lord. It’s not that
simple, because in spite of that many Christian homes are a war zone.
Take Charles Stanley of TV fame. He and his wife were separated for
seven years and finally got divorced in 2009. Yet he still fronts
up to tell his World wide TV audience Jesus is the answer? And he’s
Now Benny Hinn’s marriage has gone; they need
ours prayers. We don’t know the circumstances surrounding these
brethren nor do we need too, but the fact remains nobody is immune
to the possibility of these or other things happening to us. Problems
are no respecter they knock on every door.
Where are the teaching Priests?
Now for a long season Israel hath been without the true God, without
a teaching priest, and without law. We preach to the lost, but where
are the teaching priests for the converted?
Society has handed responsibility for the training of their children
over to the schools medics and the government. In the case of Christians
many are too busy doing religious stuff, majoring on minors instead
of building up their homes.
Just give them to the Sunday school teachers.
This is wrong, it should never be. We applaud those that work
in child evangelism but the children of Christian parents are their
Do we have a case to answer? The evidence all around us seems to imply
strongly that we do. Every father needs to humbly look to himself,
and refresh his memory with regard to his role in his home.
He needs to seek God for help and then act decisively.
In restoration every man built over against his own house.
3:28-30. There will be no lasting spiritual benefits until
it begins in our homes.
Where are all our children?
Every Christian generation seems to be trying to reach its youth. In
many cases they are the result of Christian homes that failed to
raise them for Christ.
Where are the watchmen over their homes? Isaiah
62:6. A little slumber
and a little sleep and like an armed man our want came.
The condition of many Christian homes is tragic. Things
just seemed to sneak into their homes that they didn’t really approve of,
but gradually learned to live with. We fathers need to be honest
with regard to our culpability in this sad state of affairs. We needed
do more than lift up our hands in Church. We did it for years but
where were our children while we were doing it; and more to the point
are they today?
It’s never too late to ask for help. He is the repairer of
the breach and the restorer of paths to dwell in.
Since we became His property He has provided everything to enable
us to fulfil our role as Fathers.
Since we are His offspring we must look to our heavenly Father in
Abraham offered his son to God in an act of obedience.
And God gave Isaac back for Abraham to raise for Him.
Many have given up that which they had no right to give up.
They have given up their children for a religious dream.
Some fathers gave up their responsibility to their wives.
Some couples went to the mission field and gave their offspring to
a Christian Institution to raise for them so they could devote hemselves
to saving the heathen and their children.
How misguided can you get?
What does it profit a man if he takes the Gospel to a nation, and loses
his family in the process?
What have we sacrificed to selfishly develop and maintain
Have we neglected them to serve the church?
They taught us that loyalty to church activities was akin
to serving God.
They said God requires us to respond to our church’s efforts
to fulfil the “Great Commission”.
The leaders of the Shepherding movement in the US and the
Kingdom movement in Britain were manipulative and controlling
to the extreme.
i.e. “Are you committed to me asked the pastor”? Like a
fool he answered yes, instead of asking him “by what authority
do you ask me to make a commitment to you and what you’re doing”.
When you should have been at home with your wife and children, praying
with them and tucking your children into bed, you were immersed in
setting up a program that a religious spin doctor claimed would reach
the youth of your city and fill your church for God. All the while
your own home was a neglected mess.
Perhaps you went prayer walking around the neighbourhood because your
pastor heard George Otis Jr waffle on about it; and this inspired him
to get you all out at night to do likewise. Or perhaps you snuck out
one dark night to the stake out the gates of your city for God like
Frank Damazio Pastor of Bible Temple Portland Oregon did.
Lamentations 3:40 Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to
the Lord, and when we do, we will find He is faithful to forgive us
and help us to do something about it. You can start by standing proxy
for each of your children before the Lord; and begin to cry out to
God daily as Job did!
Job 1:1-5: “There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was
Job. He was without sin and upright, fearing God and keeping himself
far from evil. And he had seven sons and three daughters. And of cattle
he had seven thousand sheep and goats, and three thousand camels, and
a thousand oxen, and five hundred she-asses, and a very great number
And the man was greater than any of the sons of the east.
His sons regularly went to one another's houses, and every one on
his birthday gave a feast: and at these times they sent for their three
sisters to take part in their feasts with them. And at the end of
days of feasting, Job sent and made them clean, getting up early
in the morning and offering burned offerings for them all. For, Job
it may be that my sons have done wrong and said evil of God in their
hearts. And Job did this continually whenever the feasts (their birthday
parties) came round.
You can’t give what you haven’t received.
Many of us couldn’t give what we hadn’t seen modelled or
received and learned.
It seems we have had to live most of our lives to find out what
we didn’t know, or weren’t taught.
To every victim of a dysfunctional home the psalmist says:
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me
up Psalm 27:10. Yes that’s right, He will gather you up and take
you in. And you are never too old.
He will become your teacher, healer, protector, provider and
To the widow He will be your husband.
The Old Testament closes with a most solemn call to fatherhood. It
is a prophetic promise to all future generations that has a positive
as well as negative consequence. We will need to respond and get our
act together so that all our families we will be blessed and not cursed.
Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the
great and dreadful day of the Lord.
And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the
hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the
earth with a curse".
Turn the hearts of the Fathers to their children
Turn the hearts of the children to their Dads
Turn the hearts of the Family to each other
Turn the hearts of the children to the Lord
Personally Anne and I believe that our prayers for all our children
and our children’s children will be heard, and they shall all
found in Christ on the day of reckoning.
The father’s role is supreme in the mind of God. We cannot move
forward until we acknowledge this.
Reacting to the Truth
If the same evidence is available to all, how
is it that we come up with so many different answers?
We have facts and we have perceptions. Often our perceptions are not
conclusions we have come to as a result of our own personal study of
the evidence; most times they are the result of accepting the conclusions
of a third party. Christianity has clearly demonstrated this to be
the case for centuries.
Most of us have been guilty of it, but we shouldn’t swallow anything
before checking it out.
An excellent piece of advise is this; the next time somebody tells
you something which they insist upon is important for you to know ask
yourself, “is this something they know because they have solid
evidence; or because an authority figure such as their pastor told
them; or was it a revelation some spin doctor in America just released
for the gullible to swallow?
Next time someone tells you something they claim is true, ask them, “What
kind of evidence do you have for this?” And if they can’t
give you a good answer; you should think very carefully before you
believe a word of anything they say.
Let’s go a little deeper, “How about us applying this
Are you willing to take an honest look and let the evidence speak for
itself? Isaiah 1:18
Or have you already made up your own mind?
It’s your present, and your future that’s at stake, so
be careful how you choose.
If you have responsibilities such as a Father with a wife and family
has, you had better make doubly sure.
“Come now, and let us reason together, says the Lord”.
Are God’s comments so incomprehensible that we must rely upon
a fallible human for our answers on everything? Or can we go to Christ
for ourselves and ask Him?
Surely His answers are the final word on everything.
The power to think is God’s greatest gift to man
The man who
thinks is his own best friend and the Devils worst enemy.
The only person that can’t think is a dead one.
The man who won’t think is a fool.
He will always be captive to another’s point of view. He is his
Many of us were too scared to think for ourselves because we were
told that’s dangerous.
God has all the answers and has promised to tell us if we will obey
what He says.
The secret things belong to God.
But the things He has revealed belong to us and to our children forever.
Luther said he did not fear the Day of Judgment half as much as he
did the day of no judgment.
John 3:16 is a very familiar verse because it’s
usually the first one we memorized?
The translators have interpreted the Greek word “age” for “eternal”?
Why do you think they did that?
Go and check the text out for yourself, please don’t just take
my word for it?
Look in your concordance, and in Vine’s Expository Greek dictionary
Then afterwards go and have a good think about it? And see what you
come up with.
I’ll tell you why I think they changed it another time, but why
don’t you try and find out.
Here’s a clue: An “age” has a beginning and an end,
and that’s a fact? Yes it is.
Eternity has no beginning or end. A primary school student knows